Most articles posted here (I hope) have legs... they're meant to, in some small way, last.
But here's a quicky, just for the next day or so.
I read with interest that Simon Cowell thinks we're all being jolly mean in trying to stop his little X Factor winner from getting an automatic number one at Christmas.
No Simon, we don't care about him... whoever he is. What we we're trying to do is slap YOU in the face. You're systematically wrecking something we hold dear, and you don't deserve to get away with it so easily.
When one of your discoveries comes up with something like 'Let It Be' or 'Bohemian Rhapsody' as a potential Christmas hit, then I'll stop an listen. Until then... you get my derision for Christmas, and none of my hard earned.
I think it's well worth 67p or whatever to make a protest, hope you do too, go and buy Rage Against The Machine, before it's too late!
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Friday, December 18
by
Paul
on Fri 18 Dec 2009 12:25 GMT
Slightly over a year has passed since my previous article on this topic, so time for an update. (see HERE)
Just to set the scene, I'm comparing a 5 year old Astra with a similar spec 1 year old Focus. However, I've driven both from new, so I think my thoughts are pretty relevant in a head to head contest as I'm sure the Astra hasn't changed much in the intervening period.
The Astra has now reached 92,000 miles, and the Focus is catching up, currently at 23,000 miles. In the last year neither has broken down, both have maintained their fuel consumption figures remarkably consistently, at about 53 mpg. In fact neither car has suffered any form of mechanical or electrical malfunction recently, a testament to how well they build these things these days. I've just re-read my previous article, and to be honest, not much to say here in fact. Initial impressions turned out to be about right for the Focus. A year on, and many miles under its belt, it remains the same. The comparative lack of 'go' has not gone away as the engine loosened up, and frequently I get caught out trying to accelerate from low revs, as would be easy in the Astra, and the Focus just bogs down. However, on the other side of the coin, the engine is a lot quieter than the Astra, which seems to be getting noisier by the day, now very 'clacky'. Which is normal, says my local Vauxhall dealer. Hmmm. Despite the sporty feel of the Focus, the ride remains harsh and noisy. It is more fun to drive on a blast down windy roads, it is not so much fun on a dull motorway slog, the quiet engine is fine, but the tyre roar is worse by far. The Focus continues to niggle me with small things. For example, the Astra's electric windows still work for a minute or so after you've switched it off. So, if you forget to raise one of the windows, you still can. The Focus, no, you'll have to rummage for your keys and switch it back on. The Focus Radio/CD player does not pick up the time from the radio, and the clock runs slow. Every time you set the time right, the date goes wrong. It drives you nuts. The Astra does it for you. Small things I know... So, not really a lot to choose, but on the whole we now regret choosing the Focus as a replacement for the Astra last year. We did it (well, okay, I did it... I'll take the blame) just to avoid being boring. But in fact a replacement Astra would have been better, we feel. Not that the Focus is bad, but it's disappointingly not as good as other road tests seem to imply. The next version of the Astra is due out soon I think, and to me looks really nice. If my lucky old partner gets a chance to choose her next company car in three years time, I can quite imagine a new Astra will be returning to our driveway. Question is, in three years time, would I relinquish my Astra and buy the (by then) old Focus? I'm guessing not. Thursday, December 17
by
Paul
on Thu 17 Dec 2009 20:12 GMT
Article number two in a series of 'Big Thought' blog entries deals with that old chestnut, Religion.
So... the big idea. I'd like to divide everyone up into just two camps. Believers and non-believers. The latter is easy, because 'we' don't believe in anything, so we are immediately united in our outlook. The religious group is tougher, but I plan to appeal to their better nature... a better nature which I'm hoping, by definition, they all have. How about all the religions get together and agree on having just the one God. Not to much of a stretch I'm hoping. Just one God, so let 'ems all worship him in their own way... but NO falling out over the fine print. In other words the religious types agree to not bicker and fight, but get behind one deity and stick to it. I don't see how they can argue too much about this. Maybe I'm naive. Fingers crossed then. Now then... we've got two groups, the religious types should behave themselves - again by definition, and the non-religious will, in my humble opinion, be equally 'good'. Both side will self-police, because they will not want their group to let the side down. Harmony will prevail. Job done. Wednesday, November 4
by
Paul
on Wed 04 Nov 2009 12:44 GMT
This is the first in a series of articles (if I'm spared) that address the BIG issues of the day. I know I've been guilty in the past of discussing quite minor points, like people's inability to signal on roundabouts, (don't get me started) - but this is a BIG problem. So no messing about.
Don't panic at this point, I'm not suggesting genocide. There's not that much of a rush. No. We just need to stop having babies for a while. If there were a lot less of us, then there would be a lot less pollution. All things staying equal. No argument there, I assume? Those that were left (and let's be honest, there would still be a lot) could carry on being as messy and polluting as now, without (much) of a care in the World. Which (let's be honest again) is probably what we will do anyway, won't we? Let's say we just organised it to miss a whole generation. Pick an age range, and say, "right, no procreation for you lot". And when the desired level of world population had been reached, well we could say, "right, back on the job, off we go again!" The planet would have had time to draw breath, and start to get better. Repeat until fully recovered. And the really truly glorious bit of my plan... is that it's a win-win! Just think what an absolutely fabulous life these folks we're banning from having babies will have. Because you all know (deep inside) that having kids is just a pain in the neck - hugely time consuming, hugely expensive, hugely stress-inducing, hugely bloody painful. These people will have such a great time! They'll go on holidays, spend time in pubs and restaurants, read books, watch films, climb mountains, dive in oceans... all the things that parents can't do... it will be great! All we need to do is to formally plan to look after 'em when they're old, which may well prove to be a better arrangement than the largely voluntary scheme we currently have, where your kids probably decide to disappear to Canada the moment you really need them. Good Lord, this scheme is so green... so very cheap... so quick to implement... so guaranteed to work... so let's do it! As the meerkat would say "Simples" Thursday, July 30
by
Paul
on Thu 30 Jul 2009 20:22 BST
This was an impulse purchase, based on a brief but funny interview given by William Shatner to Jonathan Ross a few months back. I had not really been aware of what Shatner was like as a real bloke... just as a starship captain. And the answer was... very funny!
I found myself laughing out loud at many of his tales, I just hope they really did happen! If they are, it's a miracle he's still alive. Recommended, 8/10, you could buy the paperback version here Saturday, July 25
by
Paul
on Sat 25 Jul 2009 20:30 BST
Way back in February 2007 I wrote about how underwhelmed I was at the prospect of the imminent release of Vista, see here. Subsequently, I purchased a laptop with Vista on it, though I would have much preferred XP.
However, they have offered it cheaply if you pre-order. From PC World, to be precise, it can be pre-ordered for 45 quid. Not bad at all. So I have indeed pre-ordered it, for delivery in October (or so). But the moment I hit the order confirm button... I felt like a fool. Microsoft sold me a duff product. And I've just shelled out another wodge of cash to get away from their screw-up. I've paid them again. How dumb of me. But what choice do you have? You can't go back to XP (easily) and I can't take Linux seriously... I've got work to do! I hope to goodness W7 turns out to be as improved as the reviews claim. If it turns out that it's as bad as Vista, boy will we all be looking stupid. And, as you may recall, Vista got pretty good reviews before it actually hit the streets. Time will tell. But either way I won't be a happy bunny with Microsoft. It remains to be seen just how irritated with them I'll eventually be. Sunday, June 28
by
Paul
on Sun 28 Jun 2009 14:20 BST
News today of yet another fatal crash involving a police chase. Can I put it to you that the police should NOT be allowed to chase vehicles on our roads, no matter where or why?
If the answer to that last question is more than one, then I suggest we make them stop doing it. You're 14. You've fallen in with some bad mates. They have a few bottles of cider one night and decide to pinch a car. You end up in the back seat, lurching around, having a laugh. Suddenly there are blue flashing lights behind you. Your 'mate' driving the car panics and puts his foot down. Suddenly he's lost control and the car bounces off a kerb, and the last thing you see is the lamppost that's going to cause your death. Or. You're out walking the dog. It's a pleasant evening, you cross the road to chat to a neighbour. There's squeal of tyres behind you and you turn to see a terrified teenager at the wheel of speeding car heading straight for you, closely pursued by the old bill. Your life is extinguished because the police were attempting to prevent the theft of an ageing banger. So... maybe the cops should be issued with bubble cars, as above? Tuesday, May 12
by
Paul
on Tue 12 May 2009 16:52 BST
Today I heard two interviews on the topic of the MP's Expenditure furore. One was from an MP, who sat there meekly admitting that he was going to have to return 40 thousand pounds to set the record straight. He ("and my wife") were going to have a jolly good old think about where to get this 40k from. He looked sad and pathetic and you could almost have felt sorry for him had it not been YOU and ME he stole this extraordinary amount of cash from. The twat.
They are, as Terry Thomas would have said, "An absolute shower". Tell you what I want, MPs. I want the money back. Yes I know they're giving it back, but I myself, ME, I want something back. I don't want you tossing a wodge into the collective pot only to find some new way to get it out again. I want... ohhh... a Mars bar. Yes. I want a Mars bar. A Mars bar for everyone. That should do it. Oh, and I want it hand delivered, by an MP, and I want hime to be sincerley contrite when he delivers it. Oh and I want to kick his arse as he (or she) walks away. Not too much to ask... is it? Wednesday, December 10
by
Paul
on Wed 10 Dec 2008 15:57 GMT
It just so happens that I'm in an excellent position to compare and contrast the merits of the Ford Focus TDCI and the Vauxhall Astra CDTI. The missus is fortunate enough to get a company car, and a few years ago she acquired the Astra.
Performance Not much in it (yet - maybe the Focus will eventually free up a bit). There's no denying that the Astra has a noisier engine, when pootling along it sounds very tractor-ish, and the Focus does not. But when it comes to overtaking and so on, they are very similar - and that is to say they're both very good, considering. If anything, and I admit the Focus engine may be still tight, the Astra has more go. The Focus is quiet alright, but it also seems to need a few more revs to get going. EconomyNot much in it again... though I know it's early days for the Focus. Over 80k miles the Astra has managed 53 mpg, and the Focus is doing 54 mpg so far, which is a little disappointing when they claimed it would do 60. Not too shabby though, in either case. HandlingA clear winner here, is the Focus. However, it has got quite an advantage here, as its got nice low-profile tyres and is definitely a lot stiffer in the suspension. It also has adjustable steering weight, and when you crank it around to Sport mode, it's very communicative, and quite noticeably heavier to steer. The Astra, on normal boots and no such pretensions to sportiness, handles perfectly acceptably. I've never had a nasty moment in it, rain or shine. However, if you drive the Focus and immediately then drive the Astra, you start wondering if the Astra's tyres are the right pressure (they are) - it feels, in contrast, very imprecise compared to the Focus. So... Focus wins for sportiness, Astra wins for ease and comfort. BrakesEasy win to the Astra. Despite it's newness and it's higher price, the Focus has rear drums, the Astra has disks all round. The pedal feel is much better in the Astra, and though I suspect they'd both pull up in about the same distance, the Astra has a superior feel, giving greater confidence. BodyUnfortunately the Astra is a (to me) nasty dark blue, whereas the Focus is a very bright red, and this helps the Focus look much better immediately. However, though the new Focus shape is easily the nicest incarnation of the marque so far, it still for me retains a somewhat dull jelly-mould outline. The Astra has a good shape... and when they make it into a coupé, well it looks really good. Shut lines are good on both. Not entirely sure the Astra headlights look good, I have heard them described as being like cheap plastic torches. The Astra doors clunk shut with a reassuring solidity, and the Focus in comparison feels slightly flimsy... and another small point, those places on door opening where the door is held mid-way... handy in tight parking bays... Astra's are good, Focus's are bad, no strength to 'em. InteriorNo contest here... Astra wins by a mile. Its interior feels classy, and again reassuringly solid. The plastic looks good, there are some nice styling touches, and nothing glaringly out of place. In contrast the Focus has one or two really nasty features. What were they thinking when they added the shiny stripes to the otherwise quite attractive seats? As for comfort, well, the Focus has lumbar adjustment and the Astra does not. Having said that, the Astra is more comfortable for me, reason being the Focus - even when adjusted to its widest setting - is still a little tight. I know I could do with losing a few pounds, but I'm not really huge. You could argue the
Focus would hold you well while driving fast down country lanes, but in
real life it just squeezes you (well me) a bit too much when cruising down duel carriageways. The Focus cabin is a lighter and larger place to be, the rear seats of the Astra suffer from having quite deep doors, with small windows, not great for allowing a view out for youngsters. Instruments, well the Focus has an immediate appeal, but on closer inspection they look a little cheap somehow. The Astra is more classy, though mine lacks the computer display that the Focus has, showing all sorts of interesting if distracting information as you drive along. The Focus is four years more modern I guess, and did cost a couple of grand more, so fair enough, it wins on IT. One big feature of the Focus is a heated front windscreen, which is absolutely the dog's in weather like we've been having recently. Oh, and one last thing... the Astra does not have a temperature gauge. I don't know why, but I find them reassuring somehow and I miss it. Oh, and one last, last thing... the Astra defaults to AirCon off, the Focus defaults to AirCon on. I'm not sure why the Focus does this... I mean it's not the greenest thing to do, is it? I think on the whole I'd prefer to forget to put it on, rather than have to remember to switch it off every time I start the car. ICEAnother clear win to the Astra, which has the best OEM in-car stereo I've ever owned. Your ears give up before the sound distorts, it's truly excellent. But more than anything else, I prefer the Astra because it has an MP3 CD player, and MP3 CDs on long journeys are fantastic things. Make up a 'mixed tape' of albums, and not have to fanny about changing discs for hours! Magic. The Focus may be four years newer... but oddly has just a normal CD player, no MP3. Neither has a USB port, though at least the Focus has a line-in connector, for what that's worth. ReliabilityOkay, well I admit it's early days for the Focus. But it was delivered in fault free condition, and nothing has gone wrong so far. The Astra has been pretty good over 80k miles, but has fallen down on a few points that are not uncommon, I've read. The pre-delivery check revealed a faulty power-steering unit. The rear tailgate opening switch failed. The petrol gauge gave an inaccurate reading, which resulted in running out of fuel, the only fault to cause a cry for help. The radio kept switching itself on in the middle of the night, and was replaced. It's currently suffering from a rear-brake squeal that no-one seems to be able to cure. But it's all pretty small beer... overall it's been top notch. ResultTaking the age of the Astra out of the equation, so they're both sitting there in as-new condition, well, it's a close run thing. If it was me, I'd just go for the Focus, on the grounds that it's a sportier package, and the engine is way quieter. I think if you asked the missus, she'd pick the Astra, because she's not interested in the sportiness, and thinks the Astra is a nicer and more comfortable place to be. (Pity, therefore, we actually have the cars the other way around, doh!) I will update this article as and when the Focus reveals its true colours... or not as the case may be. And lo, a year on, I've posted that article... click HERE.
Wednesday, September 10
by
Paul
on Wed 10 Sep 2008 22:06 BST
If you run web sites, as I do, you will know that most proper hosting packages come with a Statistics package. This enables you to see how many hits and sessions and so on that your site is receiving. They vary, but most of these stats suites allow you to see an overall picture of things, and then you can 'drill down' to get more detail.
Let's imagine (I'm assuming it doesn't exist, if it does, please tell me where!) a web site that had up-to-date figures on just where all the money in the country came from, and where it was going to. I mean, have you any idea? Do you know how much of the tax payers money is going towards the Iraq thing? What percentage goes to the National Health? How much of the money from petrol tax goes back on road improvements? I guess you could find this stuff out if you know where to look, but I'd like just one place, where there is on show for all to see The Big Picture. Income £X billion. Expenditure £Y billion. And then the ability to look inside those figures, all the way down. It would be fascinating. Is there anyone out there who actually knows these answers? Hopefully Mr. Darling does. How about sharing with us all then? Interesting certainly, probably outrageous, and probably a sure fire way to lose an election. I can't see it ever existing. Pity. I mean, it should exist, it is our money, after all. Monday, June 9
by
Paul
on Mon 09 Jun 2008 09:25 BST
No articles have been posted recently, which is probably a relief to many, but I apologise anyway. I've not been well, you know.
No, a couple of months ago I was struck down - fine one minute, then in a hospital bed the next. I woke early that day with a pain in my back and great need to pee... but unfortunately there was nothing to pee. It went away. Then it came back. And got worse and worse till in the end I found myself lying in a hospital bed pretty much begging for a pain killer. Eventually they jabbed me with morphine and dosed me up through a drip. Relief came. Next morning, the pain returned, and so did the jab... and then I got better. Three days of hospital food later (well, actually after the first day I opted for sandwiches... it seemed safer) I was released.
If so, I'd probably stop reading now. I mean, you know I'm still alive, aren't I? So you will survive it. But I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's anything other than extremely unpleasant. They gave me a little booklet, which implied it wasn't that bad at all. Walk in the park. In and out, bish-bash-bosh, no problemo. The liars! It was made worse for me, as my doctor was called away to an emergency just before it was my 'go'. So I had to stew for 2 hours beforehand. By the time he came back I was a little freaked out. But I kept thinking of the reassuring noises the booklet had made. If I'd known, I would have fled before the doc came back! Lying on my back, legs akimbo, everything exposed, complete strangers wandering around in great numbers, the doctor eventually slapped a bit of 'anaesthetic' on the end... on the, er business end. I really doubt it did anything, it didn't have time, because the guy immediately inserted the thin end (he said it was the thin end... it felt like the thick) - and did that sting! Actually 'sting' doesn't really do it justice. And then he had to get it past the sphincter (yes, there's one in their too, apparently), and on into the bladder. And just to make it worse, all this was visible just above me on a great big wide-screen colour monitor. "This may be uncomfortable" he quipped. He wasn't kidding. Oh... I can still feel it now. I'd like to say it was a great relief when it was withdrawn, but in truth it remained just as painful for some time without it there at all. If I had my time again, I'd tell them I felt great and run for it. Very luckily for me, it showed up no problems, so in a sense it was a waste of time/pain. There is still no explanation being offered for what went wrong. Though, this incident is a cracking ice breaker at parties - to be able to say you've seen the inside of your own bladder, well, I guess not everyone could claim that. Mind you, next time (not that there will be a next time!) I will keep my eyes firmly shut. Wednesday, October 3
by
Paul
on Wed 03 Oct 2007 16:29 BST
Policemen. Yes, I agree, we do need them. We may not want them, but we do need them. It's a pity, but there you go. However, it seems that, like politicians, maybe wanting to be one should preclude you from actually being one.
Don't look at me, though. I would preclude myself on the grounds of prejudice against them. A lifetime ago they stitched me up like a kipper. I'm not going to forgive them. Ever. But maybe you'd like a go at it? There must be someone out there who could keep an eye on 'em? When I was at secondary school, there was one boy in our year who stood out. Academically he was pretty near the bottom. Well, he did no work, he mucked about and disrupted classes the whole time. He was a big lad, he intimidated all of us, and some of the teachers too. I recall him reducing one poor (softy) teacher to tears. It was quite a while ago, in fact the early 70s, and it happened to be that the 'Wacky Races' were first being shown on tv. Every week, this guy would run a book on who would win. We all had to (HAD to) cough up a few pence each, and got to pick a name out of the hat. Some poor S.O.B. would get Dick Dastardly! I never saw anyone get their winnings. Frankly, he was a big thick bullying pain in the backside. Came the end of secondary school, most of us were off to college and so on. Where did this guy head? You guessed. He's probably a Chief Superintendent by now... Tuesday, May 8
by
Paul
on Tue 08 May 2007 14:39 BST
I recently had a letter published in my favourite computing magazine, PC Pro. The topic I addressed was that of whether powering PC equipment on and off does it any harm or not. I wrote thus:
The following month, a like-minded soul had his letter published as a follow-up to mine, again questioning this assumption that things are okay these days. I just don't think they are, and I again emailed them, thus: "You mentioned my worry being a hangover from the mechanical world... well let me give you another similar analogy. With aircraft, though total flying hours is used to determine if a plane is worn out, what they really worry about is the number of landings. That big thump does more damage than cruising along for hours. Is it maybe not the same with switching electronic gear on and off? Now then... "News" in issue 151... "But it does save £50 per year on power" when referring to Vista's default power settings... it won't save anyone 50 quid if in fact it shortens the life of the equipment... in fact it will cost a packet in terms of hours lost and hardware replacement. I would really like to see an electronics brainiac's response to this... like your article on what kills hard disks... surely the manufacturers do research of this nature... someone must know for each component what the actual damage (or not) of powering on and off does to each component?" It would be good to get a definitive answer on this, as a recent tv programme highlighted just what a large carbon footprint making a PC causes. If we end up breaking them by attempting to save a little power, that can't be right can it? Thursday, March 1
by
Paul
on Thu 01 Mar 2007 10:10 GMT
I think there's enough evidence now to show that democracy doesn't really work that well. I mean it's not awful, but it's far from perfect. There's been a lot of death and destruction to get us to democracy, which has been a jolly good thing to achieve, but is there any reason to rest on our laurels and not try to go one better?
And again on TV you can get to see the general public at their worst. The Jeremy Kyle Show is a good example. As a piece of entertainment it's hard to beat. I have to actively stop myself watching it, because once you've started you can't take your eyes off the screen. The participants are SO awful... basically it's a modern day freak show. But there's an endless supply of these people, and they've all got the vote you know. In life, at every turn, you're asked to prove yourself before you're allowed to do tricky things. 'O' levels. 'A' levels, a degree before you can apply for a job. Interviews. Driving Tests. Applying for a loan. How is it, therefore, that you can be allowed to vote without having to prove in anyway that your knuckles are not scraping the ground, and that there is at least a minimum number of brain cells buzzing around your noggin with which to make this important decision. Okay, I don't know exactly how to test if someone is fit to vote, but I'm sure we could come up with something. Maybe we don't completely disallow the stupid from voting, just weigh their vote less. And I'm not talking about educational achievement here... no, we need to test someone ability to think it through. Some very 'clever' people may well fail the test. Last night I caught a snippet of a program on Blair. Apparently president Chirac said to him that if he (Blair) continued to support the Americans and went to war on Iraq without the support of the UN, then little Leo Blair would grow up not thanking him for it. This stopped Blair in his tracks... but only momentarily. Maybe he should have thought about that bit of wisdom a little longer. I realise hindsight is 20-20, but it seemed obvious that war on Iraq would end in tears. Maybe Blair, therefore, would fail my democracy test. Maybe I would. But if we thought the process out really well, we'd end up with a better government, I'm sure of it. Democracy is great, but MORE THINKING is required. Don't you think? Friday, February 2
by
Paul
on Fri 02 Feb 2007 13:09 GMT
When I was a kid I used to think Americans were just great. They were the top bananas of the world. I couldn't have cared less that behind the scenes they were just as a big a bunch of dingbats as they are now, I just considered them THE people to be.
Why? Because of the Space Race. Which they won. Comfortably. It was a two horse race. The Yanks vs. the Ruskies. We got all the anti communist propaganda, sure, but that didn't matter in the end, because the Americans actually did win. Their men stood on the Moon.
Seems to me their problem of late is that no-one seems to like 'em any more. Clearly the Muslim world have got a beef, and it doesn't much matter what it is, they have, and it would be tough to explain some of America's recent actions to their biggest fan without starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. But say they were preparing to go to Mars. Just for the heck of it. Lots of media coverage, lots of excitement, lots of reasons to admire those Yanks. Young men sitting in bedrooms around the world, making models of the spaceships and glued to the telly-box, watching, fingers crossed, as the astronauts do their thing. Preferable to them watching CNN and planning their next terrorist attack. Give us all something to admire you for again. It worked before. It would work again. Wednesday, January 24
by
Paul
on Wed 24 Jan 2007 17:52 GMT
People were looking at my a bit oddly yesterday. I was stood with the other parents waiting for our kids to emerge from school. No one said anything, they just did a double take. My 8 year old was not so kind. "What's that on your nose?" were his first words to me. I'd spent the morning painting a ceiling, so I guessed it was a bit of paint and made light of it.
The thing about Tony of course, is that he's only a weeny bit older than me. I'd prefer it if people making those tough decisions to be way, way older, then you can fool yourself into thinking they know what they're doing. They will have passed through the clumsy phase I'm now entering, and emerged all dignified... they will have slowed themselves up a bit, and gained gravitas. People my age, like Tony, well I know what he'll be like... he'll make mistakes, he may even turn up at a press conference with an orange streak down his nose... you mark my soup. Words. Sorry. |
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