Today I heard two interviews on the topic of the MP's Expenditure furore. One was from an MP, who sat there meekly admitting that he was going to have to return 40 thousand pounds to set the record straight. He ("and my wife") were going to have a jolly good old think about where to get this 40k from. He looked sad and pathetic and you could almost have felt sorry for him had it not been YOU and ME he stole this extraordinary amount of cash from. The twat.

And the other interview was with Stephen Fry, for whom I have a lot of time, but with who, on this occasion, I disagree. He said that the whole expenses debacle was unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and a diversion from the real issues, such as impending financial meltdown, pandemics, war, etc etc. And that everyone (look to camera) has fiddled their expenses. Everyone. Well... actually, I haven't. And, being self employed, it would be rather silly of me to do so. The boss would definitely spot it. And when people do fiddle their expenses, I would argue, firstly it would not be for such huge amounts of money as these MPs have managed, and secondly, it matters greatly because it's MY BLOODY MONEY. (And yours).

Just what do these people think they're up to? Where do they think the money is coming from, for them to have their garden gnomes polished or whatever? They must know it's tax payers money. So... they're just ordering another jacuzzi and sticking it on the ex's - do they think, some poor little sod in a factory has worked his gonads off to contribute tax to the country, and I'm going to blow it on this thing and I'm really going to enjoy the bubbles, ha ha!?

They are, as Terry Thomas would have said, "An absolute shower".

Tell you what I want, MPs. I want the money back. Yes I know they're giving it back, but I myself, ME, I want something back. I don't want you tossing a wodge into the collective pot only to find some new way to get it out again. I want... ohhh... a Mars bar. Yes. I want a Mars bar. A Mars bar for everyone. That should do it. Oh, and I want it hand delivered, by an MP, and I want hime to be sincerley contrite when he delivers it. Oh and I want to kick his arse as he (or she) walks away.

Not too much to ask... is it?